This is a topic which has no simple answer.

Let’s first ask about our motives. Are we worried that the people around us think that we are bad parents? Are we wanting our children to respect others? Although these motives are not terrible ones, how can we redirect our motives to ones that are Kingdom building? I want to encourage us to ask questions like, how can my children glorify God during church? How can what I allow and not allow help my children to know Jesus more? How can I help my children to become active members of this church body? I thought of several ideals that I hope to keep in mind as we participate in the weekly ritual of worship and wrestle with our motives. Hopefully, they will help us to keep a Godly focus when we struggle with what to do for that hour with our children.

Set apart

It is important that our children understand that this one hour in the week is set apart. It is other. Other than what we live during the week. Different than the school day, different than waiting at the doctor, different than visiting at a friends house.

Quiet

Even though people are talking, singing and reading together doesn’t mean that it isn’t quiet. Quiet is also a state of the heart. Quiet allows space for God dealing with your heart. Believe me, even if my kids are respecting my worship space, it doesn’t mean that my heart is quiet. It is definitely something that needs to be exercised and everyone needs to work together to allow that to happen. It needs to be understood that it is the ideal.

Respect

Children need to respect the adults around them. That sounds trite and old-fashioned I suppose. Our children need to respect what we are doing. In that way, they can glorify God with their abilities. They do have the ability to not think of themselves first, they just need some convincing. The more children understand this concept, the better perspective they have of putting themselves under the authority of our mighty God when they affirm their baptism.

Participation

Working towards these ideals would hopefully produce participation. Have high expectations for your little ones. If they are reading, they can sing along with the hymns and read along with the responsive texts. Allow them a bulletin so that they can own what is happening. Bring a notebook so that they can jot down what they hear. Will they draw pictures? Probably, but with encouraging and nurturing along the way, who’s to say that the pictures can’t be from a response to the service or just their way of respecting your space?

You know your family. You know your motives. The way that we all as parents flesh this out is going to look different. I am here to encourage you to ask the right questions about your expectations for your children and concentrate on the important things, not what we all might think. Remember, we are all in this together. Let’s help each other gain perspective and encourage one another.